Sunday, October 23, 2011

I almost peed my pants

Posted by Dawn Dalton on 8:36 AM

But first...

Following The Crossroads Blog Tour? Awesome! I'm over at Confessions of a Bookaholic today chatting with Jessica about my favorite paranormal beasties and why my English Mastiff is named Roarke. PLUS, I'm hanging with the lovely Amy at A Simple Love of Reading dishing out advice for the impending zombie apocalypse. Let's hang out together at the crossroads, k?

Now to the "almost peeing" part...

Corn is spooky, my friends. Don't let anyone tell different. Trust me, until you've crawled your way out of Edmonton's Corn Maze (Farm of Fear) on your hands and knees, you're in no position to judge.

The maze is just outside of Edmonton, Alberta, and during the day, it's a haven for adventurous kids looking for an excuse to tell their parents to get lost.

But during the Halloween season, the old barn turns into one of the scariest haunted houses I've ever screamed my way through. To complement this year's theme, Prisoner of Love, the barn was transformed into a jail cell where creepy mimes, clowns and other freaks emerge from the thick fog.

Not going to lie, I owe my stepdaughter about $200 into the family cuss jar.

I took up the rear end, with husband leading the way, and my kidlet conveniently sandwiched between us. I screamed. A lot. I screamed when I rounded the corner and the scary mime dude breathed down my neck. I screamed when the two girls in the straight jacket turned their crazed eyes to look at my pale-faced fear, and I screamed - loudly - when I looked back to find...well, no one following me. Just the IDEA that someone might be behind us was spooky enough.

I've got to give props to the farmers who created this masterpiece of horror. By the time I exited the house (before I even hit the corn maze), my throat was raw and my heart struggled to return to normal. (Karen, stop your laughing!)

As much as I enjoyed the house (yes, all that screaming does equate to a good time), I admit, the actual maze part wasn't as freaky.

The corn field indeed looks extra spooky under the moonlight, and after the terrifying Prisoner of Love jail house experience, you're almost tip-toeing amongst the rustling stalks anticipating more of those mime dudes and clowns to leap into your path. 

I jumped a few times, but the walk was over before my knees stopped knocking from the first part of the tour.

If you're heading to Farm of Fear, I'd recommend the following:
  1. Go early. It opens at 7 p.m. and runs until 10 p.m. - and we waited in line for about an hour and a half. We exited the maze just as they were closing. You can get your tickets online and skip one of the lines, but you'll still have to wait. The anticipation is almost as spooky as the main event.
  2. Dress warm. There's a bonfire (with hot chocolate and marshmallows) set up, but chances are slim you'll get close to the warmth. We entered the barn with a healthy bout of pre-goosebumps.
  3. Go to the bathroom just before you get to the haunted house. Just saying.
We're still planning to do the Sherwood Park Haunted Hike before Halloween, but today we'll be dragging out the exterior decor and setting up our haunting yard. Best be getting a move on - there's only 8 sleeps until Halloween. Mwahahahaha.

- Dawn


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